Wednesday, June 17, 2009

WND Lobs a Molotov of Fictional Facts

Now that I'm back, I need something flashy to start off with. Not some mere out-there comment on Berg's site, but something more...substantive. More noteworthy.

Thankfully, WorldNetDaily has come to my rescue with the latest video from its in-house conspiracy auteur Jason "Molotov" Mitchell, entitled "How to force Obama's resignation".

The good stuff starts at 0:48:

These are the facts:

Obama's grandmother says that he was born in Kenya. His elementary school records say that he was an Indonesian citizen. He traveled in and out of Pakistan at a time when American passports were prohibited. And by the way, where are the records that show his name change from Barry Soetoro to Barack Obama? And why has he sealed all records that could indicate his national origin?

...Publicly demand the answers to these questions. Obama will resign. If he doesn't, we know that we are in a dictatorship.


I absolutely love the insane logic of the final claim above. Ask these questions and one of two things will happen: Obama will resign, or Obama will be a dictator! The answers are apparently irrelevant; merely demanding them is enough to instigate a resignation or dictatorship.

Still, perhaps we should pause to consider Mitchell's questions:

These are the facts:

Let's come back to that one, shall we?

Obama's grandmother says that he was born in Kenya.

No, she didn't. Mitchell's very first "fact" is bogus.

He's not off to a good start.

His elementary school records say that he was an Indonesian citizen.

One school registration form, not "records," states that his citizenship was "Indonesian." It also states that he was born in Honolulu. American minors can't lose their citizenship because of anything their parents subsequently do.

So the answer is: the form is in error.

He traveled in and out of Pakistan at a time when American passports were prohibited.

No, they weren't.

And by the way, where are the records that show his name change from Barry Soetoro to Barack Obama?

And where, Jason "Molotov" Mitchell, are the records that show his name change from Barack Obama TO Barry Soetoro?

Wait, what? You don't have any?

**insert not-so-stunned silence**

And why has he sealed all records that could indicate his national origin?

He hasn't.

Oh, and by "all records that could indicate his national origin," I assume you're using the standard unspoken conspiratorialist disclaimer of "all records that could indicate his national origin except all those that have already been made public that contradict my unevidenced conclusions."

So we've asked the questions. We've seen the answers. And what have we learned? That Jason Mitchell is apparently somewhat unclear as to the definition of "fact." And that his questions are disturbingly close in sequence to my own satirical birther dialogue.

Perhaps what Mitchell meant to say was "These are the scurrilous, unfounded, and unsourced rumors and lies." That, ironically, would be more factual.

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